Dealing with Conflict Begins at Birth

In every relationship a couple will fight, be it a knock-down, blow-out, scream fest or the silent treatment because he didn’t change the toilet paper roll when it ran out. How a couple deals with these squabbles tests the strength of their bond. A recent study found the people who received better care when they were younger were more likely to recover from conflict than those whose care was lacking.

The study looked at 73 heterosexual couples who were 20 to 21 years old. They were interviewed and a conflict was introduced. The researchers watched to see how the couple dealt with the issue. They were also asked about their attachment to their parents when infants. The study found that people who were more attached to their parents showed stronger conflict recovery and they were more likely to have a partner with conflict recovery skills as well.

Adults that had strong attachments when infants are better at handling the ups and downs of relationships because they have a better handle on emotional self regulation.

Early child care has an impact on the whole of a person’s life. It’s when babies form their first attachments, their brains are still developing and they are completely dependent on their parents. And though bonding with your baby can be affected by your levels of oxytocin, not all parents feel a bond right away; sometimes it takes a little longer, which is normal. Early infancy development is some of the more important developmental periods of a child’s life, how they are treated can affect how they deal with relationships over a lifetime.

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